Sorry if I haven't responded to you guys calls/texts, it's because I've been in phone limbo. I feel kind of cut off from the outside world...like I'm really missing something. Argh. I can't wait 'til I get another phone.

Hmm. Maybe I shouldn't be so disinterested and apathetic in things that could be so crucial... I always thought I had a reasonable outlook in general...or maybe that is my problem, that I have a reasonable outlook.

I'm signed up to be in the pit orchestra for the musical...and it seems like I will have no social life for a month and a half because of it.

This weekend should be fun. Journalism trip to San Antonio! The river walk sounds hella fun. I haven't been out on a trip in a long, long time. I need some sleep now.

Do you always have to accept someone for who they've become? Is there really anything you can do as a long-term friend to change that person back to who they were? Is it self righteous to think they're going down the wrong path?

Who are you?

I'm going through a phase or something like that. I have a lot of decisions to make and I know they will all become regrets. I still find a lot of love, so I'm not unhappy or anything. I just can't help but feel slothful and far too analytical. I just need to get over my shortcomings due to my age...I guess.

I always used to love attention... however now that I'm a role model, It bothers me to be looked up to in that way.

This is my first time to go to homecoming! Haha. I also have no date; this does not bother me at all.

Yeah when you came in, I could breathe again.

I've had a recurring (at least it feels like it's recurring) dream that's disturbing to me. A role model of mine who left a year or two ago returns in this dream as a completely different person. It's like one of those cheesy identity theft ads, where the person is obviously lying, but I'm the only person who notices that this balding, meth-addict isn't the righteous person he claims to be.

I really do feel kind of worthless with the classes I'm taking. But I'm feeling more and more inspired daily, so I guess I can revamp my energy into something creative.

I really love when covers will change the entire tone of a song, without being to drastic of a contrast. I was never a huge fan of Oasis' Wonderwall...until I heard Ryan Adams' cover of it. Hearing the wide-eyed ballad become a strung-out plea for help really makes you rethink the lyrics and what they mean.

"There are man things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how."

September 2006 was the last time the Mountain Goats came to Lubbock. I never would have dreamed that I might be able to be in a band who opens up for them. A year later I joined that band, and in a month that dream will be fulfilled. I still can't accept that this is going to happen. I never would have expected any of this.

I really hate reading my old entries and grinding my teeth when I see how self-loathing and pitiful they were. I guess we all went through that phase of life.

This day was mellow. I saw the people I had already infrequently seen during the summer. A few exceptions I was elated to see, otherwise I was mostly sick of seeing the rest of the underclassmen crowd. Any other year in High School I felt nervous or at least excited. None of that.

Maybe all of my free time this year will allow me to give time to my real interests. I want to get crazy good at mandolin. I want to finish my "novel". Wants that have been following me throughout High School. Except now I have much more cushioned time on my hands, and maybe even the right amount of drive.

I feel like my personality has changed so much through high school. I admire who I was before, but I don't think like that anymore.

I miss you...

One thing that hasn't changed much is my insecurity, sadly. The most immature part of me.

I can't wait until I can get my own percolator, and make my coffee as strong as I want. I really do want to grow up.

I'm already feeling the Senioritis.